Is anybody listening?

One phenomenon I've become increasingly aware of recently is the tendency of people to talk to themselves. I've observed it everywhere: on the streets I walk down, in city buses and light-rail trains, and in public paces like the library. Often, I can't tell if they're talking with someone on their cell phones, or just talking to themselves. I wonder if this isn't another manifestation of the epidemic of loneliness that seems to grip so many people these days..

This phenomenon reminds me of an incident I experienced recently after attending a Westminster Town Hall Forum lecture. The speaker, Ari Shapiro, was a correpondent for MPR's All Things Considered, who had recently published a memoir entitled The Best Strangers in the World. A dynamic speaker, he regaled us with his adventures where he interviewed people from all over the world. Several times during his talk, he stressed the importance of being a good listener when interviewing others.

Ari's talk was followed by a question-and-answer session, plus a round-table discussion in a room adjoining the sanctuary. I sat down at a large round table with about six others. The moderator posed the question: "How have you learned to listen in your life?" I began to embark in a fruitful two-way discussion with some elderly ladies at my table, one of whom was a retired grade school teacher, and the other a facilitator of conflict resolution seminars.

Then I addressed a skinny, white-haired woman on my left. But I didn't get a chance to share very much because she launched right into a lengthy monologue about her belief that National Public Radio was full of propaganda and biased information. She insisted that she got all her news from Amy Goodman's Democracy Now on KFAI Radio, which I found to be very left-leaning and overly negative. She then proceeded to tell me that Russia was justified in invading the Ukraine, because the Ukraine had always been a part of Russia since the 17th century. To redirect the conversation, I mentioned that I was a member of Walker Church, since I'd seen her there in the past. Twelve years ago, Walker had been destroyed by a fire caused by a lightning strike. But she tried to convice me that he fire was set by the police. Then she added that she was a member of WAMM (Women against Military Madness).

Sensing that I wasn't going to get into a two-way dialogue with this woman, I turned to the man on my right. I recognized him immediately because he was not only a fellow resident of my apartment building, but also lived on my floor. He told me his name which I didn't understand, and that he came from Tibet. He also mentioned that he was mentally ill, heard voices, and was a practicing Buddhist. I wasn't able to understand much of what he said because of his heavy accent -- something about being a refugee and meeting the Dalai Lama.

Like the woman on my left, this man also didn't listen to much of what I said. By now, I

was feeling pretty bummed out. I just wanted to get out of there! Fortunately, I found the perfect excuse to leave since I planned to visit a friend that afternoon in the hospirtal. So, throwing caution and etiquette to the wind, I abruptly announced I had to leave to vist my friend in the hospital. It felt good to get out of there. As I unceremoniously barged out of there, I couldn't help but notice the irony of attending a talk and round table discussion on the importance of listening skills, when neither of my two table mates knew how to listen.