I Believe

As long as I can remember, I’ve always been a deeply spiritual person. As a child in Germany, I was very pious. I recall how important my first communion was. I was seven at the time, living in a little town in Germany called Lich. At that time, I received a tall white candle that was almost as big as me, and marched in a religious procession. Later, after I had emigrated to America and was living in Cincinnati, I attended three years of parochial schools. During high school, I remember being an altar boy. One of the first jobs I had while an undergraduate, was that of assistant sacristan. As such, I prepared vestments for a Xavier University priest.

However, by the time I graduated from college, I had become disenchanted with my Catholic upbringing because of the shame and guilt it induced, especially regarding my sexual feelings. I stopped attending church or practicing my faith. I did not join another church until I was in my forties when I found a sympathetic congregation in Minneapolis called Walker United Methodist Church which I joined in 1986.

I liked Walker because the first minister I encountered there was very sympathetic. He didn’t dwell on sin or the importance of being saved. Instead, he introduced the concept of spiritual abuse which many of the congregants had suffered from while growing up. As a result, many Walker members came from other faiths including Catholicism. One member was a Jew, and several grew up in a Wiccan tradition. At Walker, I felt nurtured and affirmed. I also liked the fact that this congregation attracted many artists, including musicians, poets, actors, dancers, and visual artists. Therefore, I felt right at home.

One ongoing tradition Walker observes is mindfulness meditation. Walker Sunday services begin with a reading from Lao Tsu. Almost from the time I joined, I became active in their weekly Buddhist-oriented meditation group that I’ve been a part of for some thirty-seven years.

Another spiritual practice I first learned about a few years before joining Walker was Yoga. At the time, I was attending a residential treatment center for mentally ill adults. There we had a wonderful Yoga instructor who taught Hatha Yoga and introduced us to many postures and breathing practices. I’ve been practicing Yoga ever since. More recently, I’ve also added T’ai Chi which I learned in a YMCA class.

So, what do I believe? I believe in a loving Deity, a non-gender based Higher Power which is greater than me and guides my actions and life direction. I realize that there is evil in this world, but I do not believe that we are inherently sinful and wicked. I think that it is a tragic mistake for old-time religion to emphasize sin. I remember once participating in a Walker workshop based on the theology of Matthew Fox who wrote about the concept of “original blessing” versus original sin. Another positive spiritual practice which some of my Walker friends have told me about, which has enhanced their spiritual lives is A Course in Miracles.

Besides my participation at Walker Church, I’ve also attended several twelve-step groups which I’ve found to be enormously helpful. I firmly endorse the first two steps in which we admit that we are powerless over our own lives and come to believe that a power greater than ourselves governs our lives. I believe in the power of prayer to transform and inform my life. For years, I’ve subscribed to a non-denominational magazine published by Unity Press called Daily Word. It includes daily prayers on various spiritual themes such as joy, grace, and divine order. I supplement that with a book of daily affirmations. Yes, my spirituality will continue to play a vital role for as long as I live.