All the world's a stage ....

"All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts." (As You Like It, II, vii)

My acting experiences began in a rather unfortunate way. While in high school, I tried to overcome my shyness by joining the dramatics club. And in my junior year, I had my first chance to act in a school play. It was called Stalag 17 and depicted the life of captured American airmen during World War II who were imprisoned in a German POW camp called Stalag 17. This play later became the inspiration of the 50's TV sitcom Hogan's Heroes. Acting in a play sounded exciting until I found out the role I was assigned to play. It was that of a Nazi S.S. guard whose job it was to rouse the prisoners each morning to get them ready for Roll Call by banging my cudgel on a bunk bed and yelling at the top of my lungs: "'Raus! 'Raus! Macht schnell!" (Out! Out! Hurry up!) I guess I was picked for this role because I could speak German. But I found the experience humiliating and degrading. I don't think I ever asked my dad to attend any of the performances.

My second acting experience, which wasn't much more uplifting, came about when I was a senior in high school. I was selected with several other high schoolers by students from a college acting class to play a part in the Shakespeare play Twelth Night. I was assigned the role of a feeble, hapless, witless knight named Sir Andrew Aguecheek. He too only had a few lines and was a foil to the rambunctious, conniving Sir Toby Belch. Well, at least this role was a step above the S.S. guard. But also not too flattering.

As I grew older, I had a chance to play a few roles in various amateur productions by members of Walker Church. In one Christmas production called The Revels, I was cast as a sixties' hippie. In another, I played the part of the Greek God of War Ares.

However, my crowning acting achievement came about when I had a chance to play a meaty role in an important scene from one of my all-time favorite plays: Tennessee Williams' The Glass Menagerie. This was one of several famous scenes from plays and musicals directed by my friend Mary. Even though I related more to the role of painfully shy Laura, I acted the part of the Gentleman Caller. It was the scene where Jim, the gentleman caller, visits Laura at her home, and tries his best to break through her painful shyness. But he only makes things worse by telling her that he is already engaged to another girl. Of course, Laura is shattered and retreats even further into herself. I remember that during that scene, I had to smoke a cigarette. That really felt awkward since I was a confirmed non-smoker. I also had to project an air of brash self-confidence and bravado. The part of Laura was played by my girlfriend Mary Pat who was anything but shy. The scene was videotaped, so I had a chance to see myself in action.

However, my greatest achievement in the world of theater, wasn't as an actor, but as a playwright. About 20 years ago, I wrote a four-act play called Cathect Adult! It was based on a traumatic experience I had while attending a dysfunctional daytreatment program in St. Paul. An abbreviated version was performed as part of the 2007 Minnesota Fringe Festival. The play's characters were all played by amateur actors from Walker Church. I got a real thrill by seeing my own creation performed on stage four different times.

One footnote regarding my acting adventures is the fact that I've had many recurring dreams in which I was supposed to act in a play, but forgot all my lines as I came on stage. Or even worse, I volunteered to act in a play, but failed to memorize my lines until it came time for me to go on stage.